Did I ever try to stick a cucumber up my ass?
That may strike you as something you wouldn’t forget but this wouild’ve been a so very long time ago. I’d just begun to be queer-identified and I guess felt that mean I wanted something up my butt. (How did I know about anal sex? That sort of knowledge was much less easily come by during my boyhood than nowadays.)
I think I actually did make a half-hearted, instantly aborted experiment with a cucumber.
Some months later I somehow came into possession of a dildo. I was still a virgin and had experience only of my own penis. And I’d never taken real notice of the dimensions of it. So at the time I didn’t know the dildo was much longer and very much thicker than anything I was ever apt to see attached to a human body.
I think I got the barest tip inserted. The process of trying to fuck myself with it was too cumbersome and I wasn’t really excited so I abandoned my effort.
Eventually I’d go to bed with a guy who wasn’t a bottom and find out what it was like to be fucked.
Recently I ran across a vibrator of Alexandra’s. Flipping the switch it went bzzzz and I thought, why not.
A little AstroGlide and it slid in easily. I moved it in and out to negligible sensation. I adjusted the vibrator to press on my prostate gland. That felt mildly pleasant. But I felt Id rather have a cup of coffee than continue stroking.
God gave me a bum prostate.
This is why list anal insertables as a ‘soft limit’ on my profiles. If you really want to stick something in my I’ll go along with it. But you have to accept that it’ll just bore me.
I’d still like to see what it is like to be penetrated by a strap-on dildo. With the right psychodrama it might be fun.
wrote several years back:
